You can just do things (Ricky Weekly #99)
This is where I share 3 things every week with my friends and anyone else interested.
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A picture from my life:
Found a mushroom, a banana, and a shark at the farmer’s market.
A thing on my mind:
“What’s your biggest fear in life?”
A friend asked me this recently. At this age, a lot of my fears have subsided. I don’t feel much more courageous, but I’ve stopped spooking myself as much as I used to.
I told my friend my biggest fear is not living up to my potential. Not becoming the best version of who I can be. I know I sounds like a typical overachiever. How would I even know if I’ve reached “my potential?” All the conventional markers of success are arbitrary. Startup IPO? Win the EGOT? Own a home? Build a loving family? Just different games of our choosing (or “different adventures” since “games” feels like a neg and I don’t mean to trivialize how we find meaning).
For me there’s no finish line, meaning I’d probably have this intense desire to be better until I die. Striving is a lifestyle preference, and playing the startup game to challenge myself still feels right because it has a tight feedback loop. I’m challenged to be better every single day.
As part of the improvement, I’m working on overcoming moments of FUD more quickly. When I feel FUD, experience has shown me that there’s something valuable on the other side, but I don’t feel like I’m moving swiftly enough through them. So really, like FDR said, “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Jeff Bezos’ Regret Minimization framework resonates. I don’t want to look back on my life and regret not doing what I want even if it’s scary. I’ve been really enjoying the latest Silicon Valley mantra, “you can just do things” because it’s a wonderful reminder.
Talking to my friend about how I arrived here, I can give you countless stories but the original sin was probably spending my entire childhood hiding in fear and helplessness until I took control and began living. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was 14, and it felt like someone flipped on the light switch. I realized that I can poke life and mold it to make it better. Only after that did I start to really perceive the world, register the experiences, and remember the people. Everything I have today is because of that fundamental realization, so the goal is just to get better at the poking and molding.
A piece of content I recommend:
Jerry Seinfeld on Blocks w/ Neal Brennan
There’s not one thing that stood out in this conversation. The whole thing was great. I love it when comedians talk to each other because to be good at their job they have to see life very clearly, from all the angles and all levels of depth. Even better they’re both writer types, so they can articulate what they see.
Bonus content: I saw someone recommend a book called “Don't Believe Everything You Think” and thought the title was great but I’m probably never gonna read it. Then Baader-Meinhof took over and I started seeing similar ideas everywhere. Here’s a good clip from Mel Robbins on how ruminating or venting to friends can be counter-productive, asking what if you simply do not allow it?
Here’s research that suggests we can inhibit negative thoughts and improve our mental heath:
Bonus bonus: This Frank Ocean cover together with drone shots of LA is immaculate vibes. Reminded me of HBO’s Insecure.
🤗
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As always, you can find out what I’m thinking in more real-time on Twitter and my essays are on my website. My primary focus (and where I focus) is on Flow Club.